The Simple Family Tradition That Teaches Our Kids to Cheer for Each Other

For years, we've had a little family tradition we call Superlatives.

There's almost no prep. It costs approximately six M&Ms. 😂 And it takes maybe 5-10 minutes.

But it's become one of my favorite ways to remind our kids of something we really value in our family:

Your siblings are your team.

We want our kids to notice when their siblings do something well. To be proud of them. To celebrate their wins instead of always competing with them.

And sometimes, those things need to be practiced.

So every once in a while, before bed, we all gather in the living room and do Superlatives.

Here's How It Works

Everyone gathers in the living room, and each kid takes a turn standing in front of the family.

They have to choose another family member to give a superlative to—but they don't reveal who they've chosen right away.

Every speech starts the same way:

"This superlative goes to someone who..."

Then they tell us why they're recognizing that person.

Maybe it's:

"This superlative goes to someone who helped me clean up when they didn't have to..."

Or:

"This superlative goes to someone who worked really hard at baseball this week..."

Or even:

"This superlative goes to someone who always makes me laugh..."

They give their little speech, explain what they noticed, and only announce the person's name at the very end.

Then the recipient gets an M&M or Skittle.

Because apparently sibling affirmation tastes better with a tiny piece of candy. 😂

The Real Goal: Notice the Good in Each Other

One of the things we really want to build into our family culture is the idea that your siblings aren't your competition—they're your people.

We want our kids cheering for each other.

We want them to notice when their brother works really hard at something.

We want them to recognize when their sister does something kind.

We want them to be genuinely excited when someone else succeeds.

Superlatives give us a few minutes to intentionally say:

What's something good you noticed about your sibling?

And I love hearing what they come up with.

Sometimes it's something I noticed too.

Other times, they'll recognize a tiny moment between siblings that I didn't even know happened.

Those might be my favorites.

Then Mom and Dad Give Superlatives

Once all of the kids have given theirs, Austin and I take a turn.

We give one superlative to each child, specifically about something we're proud of them for.

It doesn't have to be a huge accomplishment.

Maybe someone showed perseverance when something was difficult.

Maybe they were especially kind to a sibling.

Maybe they worked hard at school, helped without being asked, handled disappointment well or showed courage doing something new.

We want each child to hear us say—in front of everyone—

"I saw that. And I'm proud of you."

I think there's something powerful about hearing your parents say they're proud of you.

But there's also something powerful about your siblings hearing it too.

And yes, everyone gets their candy. 😂

They're Also Sneakily Practicing Public Speaking

This wasn't even the main reason we started doing Superlatives, but it's become one of my favorite side benefits.

Every child has to stand up in front of the room and speak.

They're organizing a thought.

They're speaking loudly enough for a group to hear them.

They're explaining why they chose someone.

They're building a little suspense before announcing the name.

And because they're doing it in their living room in front of the people they feel safest with, it doesn't feel like "public-speaking practice."

It just feels like Superlatives.

But those tiny repetitions add up.

Standing in front of six or eight people and talking becomes normal long before someone asks them to stand in front of a classroom and do it.

It Doesn't Need to Be Complicated

This is one of those family traditions that requires almost nothing.

You don't need a printable.

You don't need an elaborate reward system.

You don't even need to call it Superlatives.

Just quickly gather everyone together...and start.

And if you only have two kids? It works.

If your kids are little? Help them come up with what they want to say.

If they're older? Let them make their speeches as funny or heartfelt as they want.

The mechanics aren't really the point.

Someday, when they're grown, I hope cheering on their siblings is still their instinct.

I hope they're the first people calling each other when something exciting happens.

I hope they show up when something hard happens.

I hope they know that even when the rest of the world feels uncertain, there are people who have known them their entire lives and are firmly in their corner.

For now, we're practicing that in our living room.

One tiny speech—and one M&M—at a time.